What is wrong with Hollywood these days? I as a zombie fanatic have no problems with the new "Super Zombie" but seriously why fuck with something as rididculously good as George A Romero's original zombie trilogy. The remake of Dawn of the Dead was passable but what the hell is this new shit that is trying to be passed off as Day of the Dead? 1. If it's Day of the Dead why does apparenlty most of the action take place at night? 2. Are we really supposed to believe that Nick Cannon is going to save the world? 3. What happened to the social commentary and the whole military complex? Why is everyone in a hosptial?
I have very very low hopes for this one. God I hate remakes.
Day of the Dead exclusive trailer
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
There is just one word to describe The Orphanage and that is CREEPY! It's so nice when movies like this come out and are fresh, original and just grab you in your seat and have the power to make you still scared. It's got the creepy little kids but it's nothing like these J-horror retreads that Hollywood has been giving us lately. It's Spanish horror at its very best.The story is about Laura who along with her husband and son return to the orphanage where she was raised to turn it into a home for special needs kids. Not long after they move their son, Simón, starts to make some invisible friends. On the opening day of the new home he goes missing and then strange things really start to happen.
It's very hard to tell you about the movie without giving too much of it away. It relys mostly on atmosphere and mood to really build on the chills with a couple of good Boo! moments but they're so well done that they're actually quite scary. Those looking for a fast-paced blood and guts movie won't be happy but if you want a really good ghost story then this movie has it all.
4 out of 5
Hatchet
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you took the super nerdy bad guy from Grandma's Boy, Kenny from The Cosby Show and threw in the usual cast of horror movie characters and a supernatural mutant then Hatchet is the movie for you. The tagline for the movie is "Old School American Horror" but Stereotypical American horror should be more appropriate. It's got the sluts, the token black guy, the crooks, our hero, hot heroine, and disfigured unnatural bad guy. It's a typical by the the numbers slasher movie and doesn't really add to much to the genre. I read all sorts of glowing reviews about this movie before watching it and I didn't see any of it. The only thing I'd agree with them on is that there is plenty of boobs at the beginning and enough gore to satisfy any gore fan.
A pre-Katrina New Orleans during Mardi Gras is the stage. Meet Ben . Having just broken up with his girlfriend, he's in no mood to see anyone's pendulous titties swinging about wildly as they remind him too much of his ex and the time they spent screwing on the couch his mom had bought them. Instead he wants to check out one of the other things that New Orleans is famous for -- haunts! This news comes much to the chagrin of his best friend, Marcus, who was perfectly content offering beads for boobs and drinking beer. Still, friends will be friends so the duo head off to take a haunted swamp tour. Little did they expect that one of the tales their not-so-skilled tour guide is relating actually has some validity ... the tale of Victor Crowley. You see, old Victor is on fire with rage and with good reason. He was born into this world deformed. A massive hulk whom people just didn't understand. One night a prank is played on him by some neighborhood kids that ends up costing him his life, or so everyone had thought. The truth is hatred and anger are driving forces that can last a really long time, and once our tourists end up stranded in Victor's neck of the swamp, the shit really hits the fan.
It's not a bad movie it's just not that good the ending is predictable if you've ever seen a slasher movie. The plot is silly and the dialogue is sub-par. It'll take you back to the 80's slasher movies but it might just make you remember why they don't make movies like that anymore.
2 1/2 out 5
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Passion of the Crust?
Hahahahaha! The guys over at Dread Central got an advance look at the artwork for the Gingerdread Man 2: The Passion of the Crust (yes that is the actual title). And it's so wrong but oh so funny. I'm sure they'll have to change it as I can't imagine anyone wanting to carry it with a cover like this. The Christians will raise unholy hell. If you haven't seen the first one, it's actually not that bad. I mean it's not good but it falls very nicely into the so-bad-it's-good category.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Dragon Wars 2 in 2009?
KBS Global, a Korean news outlet, reported today that Dragon Wars director Shim Hyung-rae announced during a news conference that he’s been approached to direct a sequel to the Korean blockbuster.
Its release is planned for 2009, which seems kind of opptomistic as it took so long for it to be released in its native country not to mention here in the states. Though hardly a money-making cash cow here since its release it's still being considered a success here and overseas.
Nothing is solid as of yet, according to Shim but it looks as if we can be expecting more CGI snakes battling it out for such cool things as arms and antlers in the future.
You can decide whethere this is a good thing or not.
Its release is planned for 2009, which seems kind of opptomistic as it took so long for it to be released in its native country not to mention here in the states. Though hardly a money-making cash cow here since its release it's still being considered a success here and overseas.
Nothing is solid as of yet, according to Shim but it looks as if we can be expecting more CGI snakes battling it out for such cool things as arms and antlers in the future.
You can decide whethere this is a good thing or not.
Dragon Wars
Ok so maybe I'm just a little bit delusional but when a movie is titled Dragon Wars I would assume 1. that there are going to be dragons in the movie and 2. there is some type of war going on between them. And if you're expecting any of this from Dragon Wars then you would be wrong.
The movie opens with crack reporter Ethan (Jason Behr) covering a crime scene where he sees a suspicious looking "rock" that reminds him of something that he saw when he was a child. The movie flashesback to an encounter in an antique store where the owner Jack (Robert Forster) tells him the story of two star-crossed lovers, a warrior and a maiden, in ancient Korea (Hooray! for double flashbacks) where the girl must join with the good Imoogi (aka giant "celestial" snakes) to keep the world from being taken over by the evil Imoogi who would use the girl's powers to plunge the planet into eternal night and evil.
Flash forward to present day LA where the evil Imoogi has come to reek havoc in search of a girl with a dragon birthmark. He comes equipped with an army of evil LOTR knight rejects and dinosaurs with cannons mounted on their backs. This army is lead by a golden accented knight who sounds like he swallowed a box of nails and is supposed to be powerful but yet seems to have problems getting out of the way of moving vehicles or keeping his sword from being snatched by meer mortals.
Ethan finally finds Sarah the new chosen one who is being stalked already by the evil Imoogi (hahahaha! the word makes me laugh everytime). And even though this thing is seen all over LA and is the size of a mansion for some reason the FBI can't seem to find it and no one notices when it wraps itself around a hospital.
Ethan finally grabs his "destiny" and tracks down Sarah (Amanda Brooks) the new chosen one and helps her to escape the clutches of the giant evil snake.
The acting in this movie is bad. Jason Behr runs through the movie with the emotional range of a plank of wood. He spends most of it looking as if he's trying to remember his lines while Amanda Brooks delivers her lines like a third grader in a PTA rendition of Johnny Appleseed.
The only redeeming features in this entire movie were the CGI explosion that was the evil Imoogi and his army ripping through downtown LA and the showdown that FINALLY comes between the evil and good Imoogi. The problem with these are they come too little too late. By the time we get here we could care less if the evil Imoogi plunges the entire planet into darkness because you the viewer already feel as if you are there.
Let's just say nicely that Dragon Wars is a bigger budget Sci-fi Chanel Saturday night movie. Wait for Blockbuster to carry this one.
The movie opens with crack reporter Ethan (Jason Behr) covering a crime scene where he sees a suspicious looking "rock" that reminds him of something that he saw when he was a child. The movie flashesback to an encounter in an antique store where the owner Jack (Robert Forster) tells him the story of two star-crossed lovers, a warrior and a maiden, in ancient Korea (Hooray! for double flashbacks) where the girl must join with the good Imoogi (aka giant "celestial" snakes) to keep the world from being taken over by the evil Imoogi who would use the girl's powers to plunge the planet into eternal night and evil.
Flash forward to present day LA where the evil Imoogi has come to reek havoc in search of a girl with a dragon birthmark. He comes equipped with an army of evil LOTR knight rejects and dinosaurs with cannons mounted on their backs. This army is lead by a golden accented knight who sounds like he swallowed a box of nails and is supposed to be powerful but yet seems to have problems getting out of the way of moving vehicles or keeping his sword from being snatched by meer mortals.
Ethan finally finds Sarah the new chosen one who is being stalked already by the evil Imoogi (hahahaha! the word makes me laugh everytime). And even though this thing is seen all over LA and is the size of a mansion for some reason the FBI can't seem to find it and no one notices when it wraps itself around a hospital.
Ethan finally grabs his "destiny" and tracks down Sarah (Amanda Brooks) the new chosen one and helps her to escape the clutches of the giant evil snake.
The acting in this movie is bad. Jason Behr runs through the movie with the emotional range of a plank of wood. He spends most of it looking as if he's trying to remember his lines while Amanda Brooks delivers her lines like a third grader in a PTA rendition of Johnny Appleseed.
The only redeeming features in this entire movie were the CGI explosion that was the evil Imoogi and his army ripping through downtown LA and the showdown that FINALLY comes between the evil and good Imoogi. The problem with these are they come too little too late. By the time we get here we could care less if the evil Imoogi plunges the entire planet into darkness because you the viewer already feel as if you are there.
Let's just say nicely that Dragon Wars is a bigger budget Sci-fi Chanel Saturday night movie. Wait for Blockbuster to carry this one.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Hello
Hello to everyone. I'm Raptorgrrrl, your friendly neighborhood host of the Red Eye Reviews. Just wanted to say hi and let you know that lots of good stuff is on it's way. So just stay tuned for more horror goodness.
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